Exploring the Inner Landscape: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Have you ever felt torn between conflicting desires, like a battle playing out within you? Picture this scenario: It’s Friday night, and the week’s exhaustion clashes with the urge to socialize. You can either go out with friends, or stay at home and rest – and both options sound appealing. How do you decide?

One perspective prevails, yet there are instances when a lingering unrest remains despite reaching a decision.

This inner conflict is where Internal Family Systems (IFS) comes into play. 

Using Internal Family Systems language, we would describe the situation above as two parts (or groups of parts) with different and opposing wishes and needs.
As they voice their needs, internal conflict arises, which may lead to feelings of anxiety or annoyance. But what if it were possible to get the two sides to listen to each other, discuss and find a common ground? 

So, what is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

Internal Family Systems is a model or a paradigm of the human internal world.

The core idea of IFS is that multiplicity of mind is a natural state, meaning that every human being can be seen a system consisting of many parts and a core Self.

The goal of IFS is to bring harmony into that system, by fostering a relationship between the Self and these parts. Listening to stories our parts want to share and communicating with them allows for internal peace, conflict resolution, and, finally, healing.

Every day, our parts manifest themselves in many different ways. They can, for example, use bodily sensations, thoughts, emotions, memories or internal conflicts to pull our attention to what seems important to them. While it is not always easy to notice parts are active, once we start to understand their language (bodily sensations, thoughts, strong emotions…), their presence soon becomes obvious.
When we are able to bring awareness to our parts, we can begin to build relationships with them. Inner relationships are similar to outer relationships – paying attention, listening with curiosity and without judgment, having compassion are crucial for creating a sense of internal trust, which, in turn, sets the stage for internal change and healing. 

Navigating parts and Self

There are three main groups of parts: 

1. Managers
2. Firefighters
3. Exiles

Imagine these parts as distinct characters: Managers, proactive and controlling; Firefighters, reactive extinguishers of intense emotions; and Exiles, the vulnerable, wounded aspects. Both Managers and Firefighters are protectors, aiming to safeguard the Exiles through employing different strategies. 

Managers ensure day-to-day control of life, while Firefighters activate to numb intense emotions. When our protectors are deeply entrenched in their extreme roles, their behaviors can become burdensome or even hazardous, and it can be difficult to understand them or be compassionate towards them. It’s crucial to recognize that these roles, though extreme at times, stem from a common intention – protecting vulnerability inside us. While the strategies employed by Protectors may not always align with present-day needs, there’s a significant likelihood that, at some point, these approaches were genuinely beneficial.

Another important aspect of IFS is the Self. The Self is not a part, but it is the core, undamaged, and inherently positive essence within an individual. It is characterized by qualities such as curiosity, compassion, calmness, clarity, confidence, courage, and connectedness, and represents the natural and authentic state of a person. By channeling Self-energy to our parts, we are able to be with them in a way that promotes understanding, compassion, and healing. This connection allows us to approach our internal aspects with a sense of calmness and curiosity, fostering a non-judgmental space for exploration. As the Self engages with these parts, it encourages a dialogue, enabling us to unravel the underlying emotions, memories, or conflicts. Ultimately, this process facilitates integration and transformation, leading to a more harmonious and balanced internal landscape.

Curious about exploring the depths of your internal world? Contact me, and let’s dive into the transformative journey of Internal Family Systems together! 

Have a question about Internal Family Systems or Intuitive Eating, or want to meet your parts? Feel free to email me at helena@ifswithhelena.com or book a session! Looking forward to hearing from you!