Internal Family Systems and eating parts
1. What is Internal Family Systems?
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is one of the ways of looking at the internal landscape of human psyche. It differs from most other therapeutic approaches in that it recognizes the multiplicity of our minds and takes note of many different parts, aspects or subpersonalities that make up each person.
IFS is widely used as a way of addressing various psychological issues, and it can also be a valuable tool for understanding and healing our relationship with food, as well as with our bodies.
In this post, we will delve in the concept of “eating parts” and how understanding and making peace with them can transform our approach to food, dieting, and body.
1.1 Parts
Every human has many different parts, and those parts carry out different roles in our lives. Some of them keep track of our responsibilities, some are more playful, some are very critical (who has not heard that little inner critic?!)…
Parts can be broadly categorized in three categories:
- Managers
- Firefighters
- Exiles
Managers are responsible for planning, decision-making, and keeping things under control. They are the one that make sure we abide social and cultural norms, and behave nice. The managers’ main goal is to make sure that nothing bad happens, which is the reason they act proactively.
Firefighters are another group of parts. More reactive than proactive in behavior, they come to surface when something is causing unpleasant emotions, discomfort or pain, and it is triggering internal pain or feelings of suffering. They react in any way that will douse that fire of pain, which is the reason they are often not very well liked among the managers and in the outside world. Firefighters don’t always choose the tools that are seen as “healthy”, and their behaviors can be seen on a continuum, ranging from low risk (e.g. scrolling after a hard day to zone out) to very high risk (consuming big amounts of alcohol, drug use).
Exiles are the third group of parts, and they are the ones both managers and firefighters are protecting. Often young, exiles are the tender parts in us that carry the emotional pain, trauma, or vulnerability we’ve experienced in our lives. They are often kept hidden (exiled) by managers, so that they don’t interfere with the person’s life.
1.2 Eating parts
Just like they are involved in all things in our lives, parts are also involved in eating. Some seek comfort in food, some are highly critical and controlling of the food the person eats, and some are
Eating parts represent a unique subset of these internal roles. They emerge in response to various triggers, often as a way to cope with emotional pain, stress, or discomfort. Understanding the specific functions of eating parts can help us work with them more effectively. Some of the parts involved in eating are:
- Parts that eat for comfort
These parts turn to food as a source of comfort and soothing in times of distress. They often emerge from exiles carrying emotional wounds that need healing.
- Parts that overeat
Parts that use overeating as a tactic manifest in response to emotional turmoil and can lead to episodes of overeating. They often operate to distract from emotional pain.
- Parts that restrict eating
These parts may attempt to control food and eating as a means of feeling safe and maintaining order in life. They often stem from manager parts seeking control.
- Parts that use food as a distraction
Similarly to parts that eat for comfort, the parts that use food for distraction often manifest as a coping mechanism to navigate and numb overwhelming emotions, stress,
or discomfort. These parts may seek solace in the temporary relief provided by indulging in food, serving as a means to divert attention from underlying emotional challenges or conflicts within the internal system.
- Parts that criticize food choices
These parts are a subset of critical parts in the system. They are very vocal and often very harsh in their criticism of the types and amounts of food a person has eaten. These parts often hold much power in the system, and other parts often feat them.
These are some types of parts involved in eating, but it is important to note that not every person has those parts and that there are many other parts that can have something to do with eating – these are just the most common ones.
1.4 Okay, but what to do with them?!
Now that we’ve mapped out some of the parts, the question arises: But what should I do with this information?
In IFS, the first step we do is notice the part. When we are able to notice a part, that means we are not overtaken by it, or blended with that part. In other words, the ability to notice a part gives us the space to interact with it and see the world from another perspective. So, think back to a part of you that you already maybe know about. Try to notice it:
How does your body feel when this part is present? Is there tension, constriction, or maybe lightness? Are there any thoughts that go along with this part?
Noticing a part and being curious about it is a basis for forming a connection with it. Another thing to keep in mind is that there is always a good intention behind a part’s behavior.
When we are able to remember that and notice a part from a place of curiosity rather than judgment, it is more likely that it will be willing to share its story with us. Communicating with our parts is not that different from communicating with other people, and gentleness and kindness go a long way.
When we get to know a part a build a relationship with it, we can start understanding its story and reasoning behind its actions.
Maybe your critic is trying to motivate you, but does not know any better way of doing that. Maybe your comfort eating parts are trying to bring a bit of sweetness, a bit of comfort into your life, and specific food is something that brought you joy in certain periods of life (or still does).
You might ask the part:
“What is it that you’re afraid would happen if the self-criticizing stopped?”
or
“What do you try to help me with by making me eat until my stomach hurts?”
The answer might surprise you!
In conclusion, Internal Family Systems provides a unique lens through which we can explore our mind. By understanding the roles and stories of different parts, we start to uncover the complex dynamics influencing our everyday decisions, thoughts, behaviors. It can also be very helpful in understanding what happens in us in regard to food and eating. Nurturing a gentle curiosity toward these internal parts allows us to begin an internal dialogue based on compassion, instead of judgment and shame.
As we embark on the journey of self-discovery within the framework of IFS, we gain the power to reshape our approach to food, dieting, and our overall well-being.
Remember, the first step is simply to notice—with curiosity, not judgment—ultimately paving the way for profound self-understanding and positive change.
Have a question about Internal Family Systems or Intuitive Eating, or want to meet your parts? Feel free to email me at helena@ifswithhelena.com or book a session! Looking forward to hearing from you!